reed encounters

Sometimes when the vicious creature is up to no good and I am in a depressive mood, it seems to stalk me with all the mistakes I've done in potential love interests to make me feel even worse than ever. This is routine for me,so I think of all the good things that came out of it such as the story of the boy I will name Reed.

I saw this boy only three times more than a year ago and yet I sometimes think of him either when the creature comes out or when I want to feel some type of euphoria or thoughts of someone actually liking me.

Now, many boys have looked at me since I was 15, but I can only count on one hand who I actually liked and possibly liked me back.

I first saw this boy at a concert, my friends fawned over him with his beatle hair cut circa 1965, his skinny jeans and peter pan collar leather jacket which had a velvet underground pin on it. His eyes were amber hued and had handsome features. I didn't care for him one bit, I thought he looked like a chick but my friend went to the point of taking a picture of him without his knowledge just as a memento of his "cuteness". We decided to call him "reed" after Lou Reed, leader of the Velvet Underground and that was that.

Then I went to see this other band the next month, not expecting what I was expecting and I must say now that I recall it, it was a crazy night. first, I met the band in the daytime, then the band played about 12 songs in which they usually sing 4 at this venue, and reed was there. I hadn't noticed him until I was waiting for the band to come out as my friend (who had taken the pic) punched my arm and told me to look in the back, I looked and I saw him with his hoodie over his head. I must admit, he was the most handsome guy I had ever seen, he didn't look like a girl anymore, but more like a cute rocker boy. I told my friends that I saw him and then the spotlight was put on me as an admirer of me shall we say came looking for me ; let's call her short girl and she told the people all crowded around me waiting for the band about all the concerts I've been to. As she proclaimed all the venues I had been to, all the rockstars I've seen and how she couldn't get in, I caught the eye of reed. Reed smiled at me and of course my first thoughts were "does he want to get all nice to me to cut in front of me? no way!" As I turned to the back where he was to talk to some friends,I always saw him smiling at me, I was very stunned thinking is he smiling at me?

well the band never came out and me and my friends left to eat. The next few moments I cannot explain, I was lagging behind my friends
reed was walking in my direction
my friends were way ahead of me , miles away
I stopped
he stopped
time felt like it stopped, I felt my heart melting away
he smiled
and I ran.
I ran after my friends and my friends never noticed anything.
And as they talked about "reed" and how he looked oh so hot, I couldn't stop my face from turning all shades of red and tried to change the subject.

I confided to one of my friends about this and she told me I had had "a movie moment".

I thought of this constantly only to be disappointed the next month as I went to see another band and saw him at the end of the concert surrounded by a circle of girls. He didn't see me, it was dark but it looked as if he was an idol god to these girls which none looked like the head girlfriend but instead as a circle of friends, I didn't feel jealous, but disappointed into thinking the possibility that he was gay. He didn't look gay.


but basically what feels like a shot to the heart was that "movie moment".
Why couldn't I have said hi too?
Why didn't I smile?
Why am I so stupid?

of course vicious creature comes in saying:
-he probably is gay
-he is a player, he wanted to add you to his collection.
-why are you thinking about that moment so much? I bet he hasn't even thought of it because he's a guy and probably threw that memory into the trash and if you did see him he probably wouldn't remember you.

thanks creature.

Now, I don't think of him that much though occasionally I will, to remember that movie moment but that last moment will alway kill me.