"Sincerity"

And now "vicious creature" presents in association with "give you hope" industries

"CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF"

today's topic "sincerity"


I feel like such a fuck up

why?

I hate myself. why do you do this to me?

do what?

well.give me fucking hope! First it was that artist dude back in the spring where whenever I would dress up really nicely to get his attention, he wouldn't show up for class. now this is happening again but with another guy.

I don't know what you are talking about

fine I'll bloody remind you again. The guy in that particular class?, who knew my first name and last name and I had never spoken to him in my life before? the one who surprised me as he praised my work in private? Well because of you I'm thinking these thoughts that he may like me or just be friendly. I think the latter. But you tell me these things that "he likes me", that he wears only rock tees now because I complimented him on his rock t-shirts, that he looks at me, that he likes me because my boss told me that he praised my work, blah blah blah. No, first of all He has to have a girlfriend, with those looks yeah why would he go with a horrid face like mine? and second he's friendly! just because he is praising my work doesn't mean he likes me, he probably does that with everyone! and yeah in this job it's okay to praise people so.... it's part of the job. so don't give me false hope, I am too old to imagine myself with him, with crushes and stuff so just don't.
Well at least I caught myself before you destroyed my life again because for the past two weeks it's happened with me getting all dolled up the first time with a ramones tee and he doesn't show up, then the second week, this week wearing a great dress and he doesn't show up again. No, don't do that to me again like artist guy.or when I wrote that i liked this guy on his $85 book. No.

I don't recollect any of that stuff

I think you do

well fine, but I do it to make you happy, to give you hope to make you think that a simple gesture of sincerity from a good looking guy means everything to you. you get that moment of euphoria, planning your future with him, where you'll go, what you'll do and then when that moment happens and when that sentence is uttered such as "his girlfriend is.." ,you'll immediately die inside and come crawling to your room listening to beatles tunes and eating the entire contents of your fridge. you know you love it and so you do it all the time. so don't blame me.

I....don't know what to say, you are a bastard. I don't want to talk about this anymore.


CUT OFF TRANSMISSION